The Scoring System!

We got this entire idea from Grantland, the amazing blog put together by Bill Simmons and his team. We just took the idea and ran. So, here's the breakdown of point assignments. 

Scoring System

If the commissioner determines that a team member has committed any of the following, that team receives the corresponding number of points. Gray areas abound, so all scoring is at the discretion of the commissioner.

Global Scoring

 

Emotional/Verbal

• Female Crying: 5 points
• Male Crying: 20 points
• Asking if a fellow cast member is there "for the right reasons": 10 points
• Saying, “I didn’t come here to make friends”: 10 points
• Trying to make someone cry and succeeding: 25 points
• Trying to make someone cry and failing: -5 to -25 points (commissioner’s discretion)
• Blaming parents for poor behavior: 10 points
• Calling a friend or relative at home, crying, and saying, “Everyone here hates me”: 20 points
• Threatening to sue fellow cast member: 25 points
• Being subject of an intervention: 30 points (Celebrity Rehab stars excluded)
• Plugging an acting, modeling, or singing career: 10 points
• Singing song in front of two or more people: 20 points

Romantic/Sexual

 

• Open-mouth kissing: 5 points per participant
• Coitus (or pulling over covers in bed): 25 points per participant
• Denying coitus: 10 points
• Fraudulent denial of coitus: 20 points
• Fraudulent claim of coitus: 25 points
• Participating in threesome: 50 points per participant
• STD scare: 30 points per sexual partner
• Pregnancy scare: 50 points per sexual partner
• Intentional nudity: 20 points
• Unintentional nudity: 5 points
• Hitting on the show’s host: 5 to 15 points (commissioner’s discretion)
• Possession of concealed erection: 10 to 25 points (commissioner’s discretion)
• Revealing past career in pornography: 50 points
• Going on a show-sanctioned overnight date and not hooking up: -25 points per participant (The Bachelorette and Love in the Wild only)

Violence

 

•  Verbal Fighting: 5 points
• Physical Fighting: 25 points
• Decisively winning physical fight: 25 points
• Throwing drink in someone’s face: 5 points
• Having unexplained black eye, fat lip, or bloody knuckles: 25 points
• Being restrained or lectured on camera by security or production staff: 25 points
• Requesting to be assaulted: 10 points
• Invoking show’s rules as only reason for not committing assault: 10 points
• Attempting to fight show’s host: 100 points

Drugs/Alcohol

 

• Extreme intoxication: 5 to 25 points (commissioner’s discretion)
• Vomiting: 10 points
• Having car keys taken away: 5 points
• Being kicked out of bar or club: 20 points

Religious/Volunteerism

 

• Violating stated religious beliefs: 25 points
• Attending church: -10 points
• Non-court-ordered volunteer work: -25 points

Early Departures

 

• Being kicked off show: 100 points (must be eliminated outside of game play)
• Causing others to threaten to leave show: 15 points
• Threatening to leave show and not following through: 15 points
• Threatening to leave show and following through: 30 points

Hot Tub/Helicopter Bonus

 

• Any points earned in hot tub and/or helicopter are scored at double value.

Show-specific Scoring

The Bachelorette (premiered May 23 on ABC)

• Calling Ashley a pet name: 5 points
• Giving Ashley a gift: 10 points
• Mentioning Brad: 10 points
• Winning final rose: 50 points

Basketball Wives (premiered May 30 on VH1)

• Plugging an entrepreneurial venture: 20 points
• Attending an event without an invitation: 10 points
• Using the word “classy”: 5 points

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (premieres June 29 on VH1)

• Abusing a substance while in rehab: 20 points
• Making Dr. Drew cry: 25 points
• Mentioning comeback plans: 10 points
• Saying a child/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend is “everything to me,” “my life,” and/or “my world”: 10 points
• Attempting to escape and failing: 30 points
• Attempting to escape and succeeding: 50 points
• Getting arrested and/or going back to rehab before airing of show’s finale: 100 points

The Challenge: Rivals (premieres June 22 on MTV)

• Making T.J. say, “You Killed It”: 25 points
• Winning elimination challenge: 10 points
• Winning final challenge: 50 points

*Note: Bill and Co. also scored on Love in the Wild. F that mess. Just, no.