Real World: San Diego Preview and Cast Bios

So, with the 26th iteration of the long-running social experiment The Real World, known for its head-on tackling of such social quagmires as race relations, living with AIDS and biggotry, MTV decided to explore the lives of seven upstanding young people trying to find their way in life. Just kidding, they took us back to the site of one of the most debaucherous previous seasons (remember Brad's fight, that party where that girl got date raped, Robin's fight, Randy's fight, etc.?). That's right, we're headed back to San Diego. Here's a trailer for the season:

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Gosh, just look at all of those attractive young things kissing and drinking and getting angry at one another. It's truly groundbreaking. (I WILL WATCH EVERY MINUTE OF IT AND LOVE IT.)

If you just can't get enough and need to know more before the actual show premieres, here's what I've learned from the internet about these crazy kids:

Alexandra Govere:  Well, she has her own Wikipedia page, where you can learn all about the fact that she graduated from high school at 14 then went to Stanford then recorded some albums then did a bunch of charity work. She's also strikingly beautiful. So, basically, I'm not jealous at all. Not even a little. Not even because I just found my first gray hair last week. She's probably a total lame anyway. Except for the fact that she makes out with bisexual Frank. Thank'll garner some points.

Ashley Kelsey: I don't know if she's aware that she has two first names. And they're both the stuff of '80s legends. She hails from Connecticut and attended private school and then went to the University of Connecticut, majoring in Business, which is just like, the worst. Go hang out in FiDi already. Oh, yeah. She's a "model"--code for the fact that she has a lot of pictures of her on the internet in her underwear. Girl, you are 5'2". Stop.

Frank Sweeney: This meathead comes from upstate New York, but left the state to study Spanish and Molecular Biology, which is quite the combo. According to this trailer he's a pronounced bisexual which never goes over too well with other males in the house. Fact: He has a nice butt.

Nate Stodghill: From Missouri. Played football and studied nuclear engineering, like you do. He seems to be a drunken fratboy, which is my favortie kind of person. NOT! (See what I did there? I'm goign to bring the "not" joke back.)

Priscilla Mendez: I have this thing I do when a girl is just too stupid for words. I simply say "She sure is pretty." Look at Priscilla, guys! She sure is pretty! She got fake boobs last year and is that rare Real World breed who is forbidden from drinking by production because she's underage. Doesn't seem to be stopping her from hooking up with people.

Samantha "Sam" McGinn: Sam is the first lesbian to be on The Real World in a very long time. For some reason production has always been quick to cast gay men and bar-sexuals but lesbians get no love. No more! According to the trailer she dresses in masculine clothing but will don a triangle bikini top if the group shower calls for it. 

Zach Nichols: Another football-playing bro! How exciting! This one is arguably attractive, something new for the male cast of this season. But, I mean, they compare him to Thor for a reason. Dude looks a little cro magnon. So, probably dumb. But he seems to like making it with the ladies. Pointtttsssss!!!!

Posted in: The Real World