Week 8 Point Totals

Carly had her biggest week ever, guys! Not that it really matters when Jen's still dominating on the strength of a single player. Ugh, at least I'm still in it, right? Here's what went down this week:

Survivor: Making moves, nerd! After the tribes merged Ozzy sent Cochran over to Coach's tribe to root out info from the enemy. Too bad he got spoiled on all of the not-constantly-insulting-him and respectfully-speaking-to-him-like-an-equal nonsense. Given that once one of the tribe gets picked off he'll be at the bottom of the pack anyway, he decided to turn coat and vote Keith onto Redemption Island. Hooray! In between there was much talk of alliances (15 for Cochran) and a little crying on the part of Dawn (15) when she realized that allowing her tribe's abusive treatment of Cochran all these weeks was nothing short of un-Christian-like.

Real World: Frank has a boyfriend, y'all! They've known each other for all of two days but Frank is in lurve and he's showing it by kissing that boy all over the place (80). Zach and Ashley are grossed out because they are bigots. I am grossed out because it means that Jen just got 80 points. Get it in, Frank, just don't let it count toward my losing this game. All in all though, it was a pretty decent episode. Sam cried a few times at Pride (10), got drunk at the clurb (6) and made out with some tattooed chick (10). Nate launched his charity but still found time to get piss drunk three times for the following score totals: (6) (10) (7). That boy might have a problem. 

Biggest Loser: It was an emotional week for the bigguns as they formed new teams. No one wanted to be on Anna's team since she's been doing less than stellar work with the olds but Ramon ended up there, complained, got over it, lost a bunch of weight and then saw "the love of his life" Jessica get sent home. Then he cried (20). John (20) and Sunny (5) also cried, but really, when don't they. Antone got his ass reamed in the gym, getting yelled at by Bob a whole lots (30) and breaking down into exercise tears (20) but dude lost like 17 pounds so I bet he's OK with it.

ANTM: Remember a couple cycles back when Tyra decided she was going to launch a music career and she made the models be her backup dancers. It was awful: The dancing, the music, Tyra and, ultimately, her music career. Well, she's decided that it might be a good idea to let some other tall thin people embarrass themselves by forcing the ladies to write and sing a song, then film a video for it so that it can go viral. Lisa, a "dance music artist" for years, won the song writing challenge by rapping to a music executive and got to see her fiance! He looks pretty normal but she insisted upon wearing sunglasses in their confessional which leads me to believe that he totally brought her some coke or pills or something. At any rate, they totally kissed (5) and did it (25). That's right. DID IT. In less happy news Allison had a hard time with the songwriting challenge, finally deciding to write about her recently deceased father. Then came the bomb that she had to incorporate "Pot Ledom" into the lyrics (Top Model backwards, don't you know?) and she sort of turned into an emotional mess (15). It's OK though, guys, Game fell in love with her at the video shoot. He did not, however, fall in love with Alexandria. He called her the Tin Man and sent her packing. Tears for you, Alexandria (5).

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: When my friends get engaged we go to a bar and take shots. When Lisa Vanderpump's daughter Pandora (that is her real name) gets engaged she has a party in a mansion with camels and secret sex rooms and mermaid women and contortionists and guests who call their husbands Daddy. You know, like you do. Lisa held court over the extravagant party (10), dressed Giggy up (10) and cried for good measure (5). In other storylines Kyle's mother-in-law got a face lift and made me never, ever want to get plastic surgery. Kyle cried (10). Taylor and Russell had a tense ass conversation about a tabloid story about their marriage. Russell thought that Lisa told the story to her pal at the glossy. Taylor cried (5). Kim has a disgusting new boyfriend and continues to gross me out. She kissed him (5) and the producers felt the need to add extra slurping noises (15). Ick.

Posted in: fall Points,Points